Mary wrote a compelling insight into our week, hearkening back to our story with Alex ten years ago, and reminds us of what we are all to do.
Most of you know our story. We don’t share our story to make anyone feel sorry for us or worry for us, but we share our story because it is God’s story. Our ultimate goal and yours should be to always point to His Story for His glory.
Exactly ten years ago James and I were on cloud 9 waiting to find out the gender of our first baby, only to find out that something was seriously wrong. After months of seeking answers and looking for help, our sweet Alex was born sleeping. We were told that what Alex had would never happen again… that it was a fluke.
Now ten years later we are facing our worst day once again. What was thought to be a fluke is now being highly considered a genetic issue.
You have journeyed with us since we first found out that Baby O was sick. God was swinging doors open, and we were excitedly walking through them. This week we were able to go to the Children’s Hospital in Cincinnati — the best in the nation for fetal care. As we traveled I really thought things would turn out differently than they did ten years ago.
Sadly, meeting in a conference room of doctors, nurses, social workers and more, they confirmed that Baby O was sicker than expected. I do not have fluid which will not allow Baby O’s lungs to develop. Baby O has many many many cysts on both kidneys and has abnormalities of the brain. We heard those words once again, “We are sorry, but your baby will not live”.
As I sat there, I was in disbelief. My heart felt like it was literally ripping open. My first thoughts were, “Again? God really? Again?”
Instead of planning a nursery I’m once again planning a funeral. Instead of preparing my children for a new baby I’m preparing them for hurt.
As we left the hospital in Cincinnati, James and I were quiet. Crying. Hurting.
We share our story because all things happen to glorify Him. We share our story because it is apart of a bigger story than we can ever imagine.
We are beyond humbled by the prayers, support, and help that you have shown us. You will never know how much your prayers are carrying us each day. Although we are hurting and we cry often, we know Who holds our tomorrow.
I will remember that He is God and I am not. I will continue to say, “Thy will be done.”