I’ve got a lot going on in my brain, and I’m not sure where to put it, so I thought I’d dump some of it here for you.
You’re welcome. 😉
Here’s a picture from today:
We had a blast, and we needed it. Pictured is Grayson in the foreground, doing the teeter totter with me, while Chloe tried making a toddler thing fun, and Mary getting to sit with her thoughts for literally one minute before the kids grabbed us both and went off toward the next unsafe playground piece.
I’m not entirely okay, as I’ve seen abnormal bits of emotion here or there, but there’s a great staff at FBC Bay St. Louis who have been gracious in providing space and love, giving me the time and platform to process a few things.
Oh, speaking of which, Mary and I have had one day and one afternoon to be to ourselves processing the passing of Oliver. With the kids taking turns being sick, and with them being out for school, it’s been crazy to try to slow down and sort out our minds.
Here’s a pic of Chloe at the ER for those without instagram:
Monday our good friends Bethany and Reggie came down so that Bethany could spend a few days with Mary. That visit was priceless, as they go back a long time (because they are old, right Reggie???) and connect in those rare ways that the best of friends do. Here’s a picture of them making beignets the other morning:
As of Friday at 10:20pm, I finished my first two classes at Liberty (for those of you that don’t know, I’ve transferred my Master’s program to finish at Liberty). It feels weird not staying up to do homework.
Final note, my eyes have felt heavy for the last couple weeks. There was a lump in my throat most of Wednesday as I prepared to tell the students about Oliver’s passing. I’ve been emotionally different the last several days. So, I’m taking the advice I’ve given many of you, and I’ll see a therapist next week. As compartmentalized and segmented as my brain usually is, those natural defense mechanisms haven’t worked this time, and the Spirit within me is saying to talk to a licensed counselor. My quiet times and prayers haven’t been able to fully address the hurt. The one good thing we have right now is that Mary and I have been emotionally holding each other up. Oh, and also our faith family bringing us food ever since Oliver’s passing. I mean, it’s been good not to have to think about and prepare meals. If you’re reading this, next time someone has a life event happen (good or bad), take them a meal.
Anyway, this has been one of those rare diary-type posts. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that this probably won’t benefit you as much as it did me.
God is good.